Monday, June 2, 2014

getting a real job is a journey..

Interviews can be very stressful, Right now I'm in the process of finding a job that will make me challenge myself more then just answering the phone with a total bitch face yet sounding very pleasant while I'm doing it, also there's a whole lot of personal online shopping via the work computer and reapplying my makeup before customers come in and start harassing me, it's very exhausting at times but it's at the point now, where I would really like to challenge myself even more by having sort of a real job, so I've been going on a few interviews lately and what I've discovered is that a lot of places have this thing called "group interviews" as If speaking in front of a bitch isn't hard enough you have to sell your soul in front of a group of random people you'll never again see in your life, I had no idea this was even a real thing In this world, but trust, It is and it is absolutely terrifying! Here are my tips to help you survive without getting bloated or having a panic attack. 


Take Curcumin

 Curcumin is a natural Xanax I learned about on the dr. Oz show, an absolute must for when life calls for you to be in dark places such as a group interviews/ waiting on very non-important text messages, from people you're borderline obsessed with/ any holiday that involves being with your whole family. Basically I take this stuff all of the time and it does wonders for me.

Do bitch face
But only to that one asshole who truely deserves it the most, this person normally has about a million hours of extra activities revolving around church and volunteering at the nursing home when it's so clear that they are a horrible person who only does this sort of stuff because they're on probation for assault charges, I like to sit directly across from him/her and stare at them without blinking so that they loose all focus and stfu.

Do go into depth as to why you're no longer working at your past jobs.. 
I like to make up very dramatic stories of how/ why I no longer I work at those places any more, most of those stories are about the companies getting shut down because of the Feds (really, who's going to question that) or about how I'm a free spirit, who needs lots of time off to cleanse and renew my soul or that some of my other managers were the anti Christ and not on board with all of that so I quit because let's be real no one should be subjected to that negative energy on the daily..


***side note  I have never gotten anything out of a group interview no call back, no second interview, NOTHING, so take this advice with a grain of salt

But in all honesty just take some deep cleansing yoga breaths, dress cute and be the best version of your ratchet self and you'll do great. Namaste.