Last New Year’s Eve I was inspired, to not go out and get wasted (WHAT?!?!) instead I opted to go to a yoga workshop and make vision boards and write down goals I'd like to bring into this year, one of them being writing, and since I don’t really consider any of my strongly worded emails or texts to my ex, as some sort of great form of writing and expressing myself, I thought I would give this a go again. it’s been a minute (over 2 years).

2017 has been the year I’ve very much gotten into self-reflection, going to yoga, doing meditation, energy healings and making sure all of my chakras are in line. With all that said there are still a few things I’d like to leave behind in 2017... where do I even begin?

For starters, I’d like to leave behind my bad financial habits. I used to think my fiscal irresponsibility was a result of being a free-spirited Gemini. At 26 my assets include an excessive amount of beauty/ fashion books from anthropology, and a Kim Kardashian workout booty DVD featuring Kim’s old face/ body (vintage), so basically, I have nothing.

Something else I’d like to leave behind is my crippling anxiety. I work very hard at dealing with it because I don’t find it to be an attractive/fun/flirty quality that it’s made out to be, it shaves years off your life and it conditions you to value all the wrong things, and although I can't control those times when I have an occasional panic attack at a Walmart parking lot or at someone’s house party, I’ve learned how to deal.

Another resolution that I made this year was to detach myself from my iPhone. I read somewhere that you are more likely to drop your phone and break it then to get it stolen, well that was most definitely not true in my case. This year I got my phone stolen twice, and the second I got my new phones (and yes, my Verizon bill is Hella expensive) I just can’t seem to put it down, I have such an unhealthy relationship with my phone, I always have... I don’t keep my phone next to my bed, like most, I keep it next to my face and I don’t just sleep with a cell phone, I sleep with my kindle and my iPad. and a dog that snores like Rick Ross, basically I have no room for a man in my life. it’s so unhealthy, I tried downloading an app that tracks how many times a day I pick up my phone and how many hrs. That  I’m on it to hold myself accountable, but it doesn’t work! Michael Jackson’s mom recently went to someplace in Arizona where they took her cell phone away and I feel like I need that to be part of my 2018 journey...

-namaste 

Amanda

Starbucks realness

It's September aka the beginning of psl season. I'm at Starbucks and psl isn't in my cup. I went too hard over the weekend and my bank account is at Jon Hamm (pre mad men, obvi) level and I refuse to spend whatever money I have on a spice mother fucking late. Instead I ordered an iced green tea sweetened with vanilla preparing an answer in my head if anyone were to question me for going with this cheap Ass drink. 

Starbucks is my sacred place. I vibe off hipsters and studious teens with apple products to make me feel whole when I'm feeling dark. It's a place I can come to reevaluate my life choices when I see someone freak the fuck out when their gold stars aren't scanning or watch someone verbally abuse the part time barista for butchering the spelling of their name as if it's "Sharmane" and they spell it out "Charmaign". I'd just like to say to that person don't be mad at the barista, be mad at yourself for being over 18 and not going to the dmv and demand that they change it to "trish"  or something impossible to fuck up. This is getting too dark, I should probably fuck with coffee bean instead.

Namaste 

Amanda

Two day some what juice cleanse

Hey guys so I know I haven't been posting much lately, and it's not because I'm dead or in a rehab facility. I've actually been  busy with work, reading "I didn't come here to make friends" written by that one chick everyone hated from the bachelor, which is a fucking amazing book everyone needs to read, also have been going on a lot of nature walks while listening to molly macaleers podcast plzadvise, which btw she has this boyfriend with a very sexual voice that comes on it every now and then, I guess he created the show drunk history and a lot people love it, I've yet to watch, but whenever I hear him speak about it, I like what I'm hearing, so I guess Its a good thing teen mom 2 is ending and I can start watching that instead. Clearly Things are going very good for me and because things are going so great I love to reward myself by torturing myself with a 2 day juice cleanse, I'm pretty sure if I went any longer then that I'd break into a chick fill a on a Sunday. I decided to document this experience in case anyone else would ever want to torture themselves as well...

Day 1.

 For breakfast I had green tea and tricked myself into thinking I was full. 

Lunch I made a smoothie and then a few hrs later I made the same smoothie because I lack diversity. 

Dinner

I had panda, I'm not very proud of this moment, but when someone gifts it to you and you have no self control when it comes to food to begin with, it's hard to say no.

Day 2. 

After my epic dinner fail, I started the next day with some black tea with a side of watching Carrie on netflix which was boring and dark, mostly dark. 

Just a few hrs later I made this green smoothie, it was gross but I really wanted to prove to myself that I could be one with nature and my body so I drank it unwillingly....

And then I ended up binge eating at pf changs.

Namaste.

Oh yea and also Me and court are basically bffs now.