Labor Day

I’m not one who expresses any sort of emotion towards any holiday unless it's Memorial Day but that's only because it falls on the same weekend as my birthday. But I decided to do this blog post on Labor Day strictly because I personally welcome Fall with open arms. To me, Labor Day signifies the end of boob sweat and the beginning of fur season. What’s not to love about that? Here are my Do’s and Don’ts for your weekend.

Don’t: Celebrate Labor Day at all. It’s so…American/pedestrian.

Do: wear all black. 

Don’t: Go to The river. It’s going to be a crowded nightmare and the thought of you being part of that mess gives me anxiety. 

Do: be somewhat festive by searching Labor Day on netflix and watching whatever comes up.

Don’t:  Forget to apply sunscreen. Wrinkles and looking like tan mom is never ok.

Don’t: open any of the story's on snapchat. Too dark.

Do: Remember that when you drink anything besides skinny margaritas you're trying to get obese.

Do: watch Kim's wedding strictly for Kanyes appearance. 

Don’t: watch rich kids of Beverly Hills. 

Do: go back and watch rich kids of Beverly Hills for a minute only to check if the blonde chick got a nose job and then continue with anything else that's on tv.

Do: Gather up all your crop tops and have a bonfire in your backyard.

Do: Throw any and all memories of any summer fling into that bonfire Now.